


Kiwi

by roidadidou



Category: Super Science Friends (Cartoon)
Genre: Real Shitpost Hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 15:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17347619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roidadidou/pseuds/roidadidou
Summary: Einstein and Tapputi argue over the right way to eat a kiwi.





	Kiwi

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fic in months, so forgive me for throwing random shit out like an angry caged baboon

Fate had decided to wake up Einstein and Tapputi that morning, and call them down to the kitchen table. They were normally never the first ones up, and normally never sat in a room alone.  


“G’morning,” said Einstein to Tapputi.  


“Hmmph.” Replied the witch doctor, who considered a greeting like that to be more than generous. They took their seats at the table while they mustered up the willpower to cook breakfast, or perhaps brew coffee.  


The work was saved for Tapputi when she spotted a bowl of fruit left out on the table.  


“Oh, kiwi.” She remarked with about as much excitement as one can manage first thing in the morning, and plucked the flocked fruit from the bowl. The teenager ignored her, and pulled the comic page from the daily newspaper.  


There were about four more seconds of harmony given to him that morning before discord was sown in their dining room. At the sound of Tapputi biting directly into the kiwi’s flesh, showing complete disregard for the hair protecting its skin, he made his disgust audible.  


“What the hell are you doing?”  


“What? - Oh, don’t tell me you guys leave out fruit just for decoration. This isn’t the goddamn Taj Mahal.”  


“No, I - Why are you eating it like that?”  


“What do you mean?”  


“You’re supposed to cut it in half, and then scoop everything out.”  


“And get a spoon dirty for no reason? Just eat it, pansy!”  


“Do you eat banana peels and peanut shells, too?”  


“Hey, wait, now! Don’t talk to me like I’m some kind of fuckin’ barbarian because I don’t eat fruit the way you like it! What’s it to you, anyway?”  


Now that he thought about it, there really was no harm done to him.  


But it was unnatural... Like standing the wrong way in an elevator. Even though it’s none of your business, you still feel uncomfortable watching someone else do it.  


“Nobody else on this entire planet eats kiwi by biting right into it!”  


“How would you know? I’m literally older than kiwi!”  


He slumped backward in his seat, and the two of them shared some sort of disdained glare. They were so enveloped in their debate that they were startled by Darwin entering the room.  


“Good morning!” He said as he took his seat.  


“Oh, there’s kiwi?” He asked, and comically-twiddling fingers took another fruit from the bowl.  


And, again, Einstein watched a teammate bite down into the fruit with no hesitation.  


A head of white hair fell to the table’s surface with a ‘thwump,’ and was followed by a groan.


End file.
